I haven’t seen Chandler since March 21, 2020. It’s been nothing but torture. I got to video chat with him and I broke down and cried. He’s growing up on me. I’m missing out. He’s calling others mom. We agreed to put my visits aside for his health and others health because of this virus. Our president is opening our economy and no cure in sight. We have to risk our lives with this virus. I have to miss out. We planned for over a month for us to do an exchange for May 16, 2020 so I can celebrate Easter late with him.
I have no idea if I’ll see him but I’ll be there waiting for him to bring him. Mother‘s Day is coming and I’ll be missing that. There isn’t enough words to express the pain I feel without him. It feels like my only option is to be in his life;
is to agree to be with his dad and make it work somehow. I gave up on us, just like he gave up on us.
The world goes on and I must be strong. It’s not about me, it’s all about my blue eyed baby.